“Keep your courtship alive. Make time to do things together – just the two of you. As important as it is to be with the children as a family, you need regular weekly time alone together. Scheduling it will let your children know that you feel that your marriage is so important that you need to nurture it. That takes commitment, planning, and scheduling.” Elder Joe J Christensen I was committed. Boy, was I committed. And as it turned out one Friday night, I should have been committed.
If you are familiar with musical theater, then you know that the scenes where the whole town is on stage singing
, “Ooooooklahoma!” or "One day more!" or “Oh-oh-the "Wells Fargo Wagon is a comin’ down the street!” are called “production numbers.” Though I was a professional mother from 1980 on - I also had a bit of fun directing live theater. The similarities are uncanny. For instance, staging a scene with lots of people and action in it is not unlike feeding yourself and four kids breakfast at the same time: one on a booster, one in a high chair, one in an infant seat and one in your arms nursing. Just getting out the door for our first morning errand was no less than a major “production number”.After five days of taking-half-the-day-to-start-the-day, I was ready for a DATE NIG
HT. No, let’s say I was half-crazy for a date night. And to me, at that stage of my life, “date night” meant “all-about-ME-night”. I expected to be wined-and-dined (you know what I mean), oooed-and-ahhhed over, and listened to with rapt attention, which, to his great credit, my honey managed to pull off nearly every Friday night. (His cue was the entrance of the babysitter.) However, if my prince, on rare occasion, slipped off his steed in the slightest -- if he was anything less than perrrrrfectly chaarrrming (due to worldly worries which I could not and did not 
try to comprehend) -- his Cinderella, who had miraculously gone from apron-and-hair-scarf to ball-gown-and-crown, would turn into a cold pumpkin come midnight.One such night had started out alright. We had a nice dinner out, even a movie. When we got home, the kids were already tucked in fast asleep. Things were going so well for Prince that he let his guard down. While I disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for bed, he paused at the computer for a quick check-up on some business. Baaaaaaaaad idea. For some reason that I can’t really explain all these years later, I had got it into my head that getting on the computer was violating the Date Night Prime Directive:
Ye shall not take your eyes or ears off your woman - even after returning to your native environment.
As soon as I realized that I was talking to myself in the bathroom (because of course I was jabbering incessantly) Cinderella morphed into the Wicked Queen.
We went to sleep fairly miserable that night. If I remember right, it was one of those nights they tell you NEVER to have: hurt husband, sulky wife, back to back, on opposite sides of the bed.But hold on -- this is where the magic comes in.
Early the next morning, the phone woke us up. Our stake executive secretary issued a summons for Dale and I to be at the stake president’s office within an hour. Ooooookaaaaay. We by-passed our usual morning kisses and cuddles and got ready saying as little as possible. The moody cloud dampened our spirits all the way to the church and followed us right into the stake office.
President called me in first.
“Sister Z,” he said, “we would like you to speak in our upcoming adult session of stake conference.”
I nodded numbly. Speaking was all right with me and even though I didn’t feel too brilliant at the moment, I had no doubt I could come up with an impressive topic that would wow the congregation.
“What we would like you to speak on is – “
Oh no! An assigned topic?!
He cleared his throat, adding a second to my suspense, then pronounced:
“- strengthening marriage through patience and understanding.”
I went ashen.
I exited. Dale entered. I could not even look him in the eye as we passed.
Four minutes later, he emerged. The door closed behind him.
His head was hanging - so much so that I became concerned. I rose from the couch where I had been waiting.
“What is it honey?”
He lifted his chin to look at me, a tear about to wiggle down his cheek.
“I’m speaking in stake conference.”
“I am too. Did he say what he wants you to talk about?”
“Yes."
We just stood there. I wanted to hold him, and he hold me, but humiliation held us both.
With more than a little awe in his voice, he finally said:
“The importance of romance in marriage.”
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“The marriage that is based upon selfishness is almost certain to fail….The one who marries to satisfy vanity and pride…is fooling only himself. But the one who marries to give happiness as well as receive it, to give service as well as to receive it, and who looks after the interests of the two…will have a good chance that the marriage will be a happy one...
“Love is like a flower
, and, like the body, it needs constant feeding. The mortal body would soon be emaciated and die if there were not frequent feedings. The tender flower would wither and die without food and water. And so love, also, cannot be expected to last forever unless it is continually fed with portions of love, the manifestation of esteem and admiration, the expressions of gratitude, and the consideration of unselfishness.” President Spencer W. KimballI testify that Father in Heaven is concerned about your marriage. He knows the intimate details; every conversation, every thought, every act. Your success as a couple is his ultimate desire. Becoming one in marriage is a prerequisite to becoming one with Him and the other way around (John 17:11).
...the real “happily-ever-after”.
~WAIT!~
Click on this picture for a WONDERFUL music video of"The Story of Cinderella" by Jim Brickman.
(Especially wonderful with your spouse beside you.)
CHECK THIS OUT: Little girls have ALWAYS been enamored with my son, Grant. A friend finally figured out why: he looks and behaves like a DISNEY PRINCE (lucky Bri)! In addition to singing a beautiful Young Nephi in With Mine Own Hand, Grant performs with BYU's hugely popular VOCAL POINT, performing on BYUTV Feb. 13th: An Uplifting Evening with Bronco Mendenhall.
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